I No Longer Resent My Hometown College // For Shayla Part 2 // D A Y  A F T E R  V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

So … the exact formatting for this poem didn’t transfer and I’m really irritated by it.  I had put so much into this poem, time and blood mostly, and now the spacing is all wrong.

I did my best to fix it.  At least I tried harder than I did last time.

But … the words are still the same.  I guess that’s the important part of poetry.

Regardless, I bet you already know what’s about to go down.

a poem.


I No Longer Resent My Hometown College // For Shayla Part 2 // D A Y  A F T E R  V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

Today i kissed the

s t i l l n e s s  left in the spaces

she once occupied.  Day after

V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

& i’m still not used to the

attention my family gives me

without her here.  Mortality is a

f ra      g ile

thing & the death of a teen

reminds that i could go with the

q u i c k           s l i p     of a                f l a t l i n e.

The stillness I kissed

left a sour dusting on my

cheek, trailing in the form of

a water drop, from

eye to chin.

But i    c  a  n  ’  t

k e e p  t h i n k i n g  about this

when i’m expected to keep up

t h e  h a r d  w o r k


scholarships depend on a 3.0


I think I want to double major.

Italian? Anthropology?  Classical studies would be the most fun.

G  o  d.

What would She want to study?


Sometimes, i catch my reflection.

Instead of a dark green hazel void

i see her blue.

i should dye my hair blonde.


i bought a boy some coffee today

because i couldn’t buy any for her.

Sometimes I can’t believe I was only two years older when I stood beside her hospital bed.


i offered to buy my aunt

dinner yesterday

when she texted me

H A P P Y  V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

L O V E  A N D  M I S S  Y O U

she’s never texted me before

s h a y l a ‘s  t h i r d  w e e k  a t  t h e  h o s p i t a l

i guess you could say

emotion moved me to offer.

i told someone about Shayla today,

only i pretended she was still alive

for the sake of pleasant small talk.

making friends is hard.

Day After Valentine’s Day

why is this so              hard.

i hope  the boy i bought

coffee for knew i was             flirting.

The Prettiest Distraction Ever Seen


Friend from Chicago

came to visit.  marriage in her family

tomorrow—but she’s never met the bride.

She promised to buy dinner—plus my roommate

makes three.  thoughts are elsewhere—neither seem to

mind.  i gave her my fake leather jacket.  i don’t want it anymore.

i don’t want anything anymore.



Thanks for reading this, you guys.  It really means a lot to me to have all of this support.

I hope you all have wonderful nights, free of bad dreams. ❤

2 thoughts on “I No Longer Resent My Hometown College // For Shayla Part 2 // D A Y  A F T E R  V A L E N T I N E ‘ S  D A Y

  1. This honestly brought tears to my eyes. I think you know I lost my son. This poem captures some of the rawness that I, too, feel every…single…day without my littlest boy. Thanks for putting this out there. It really resonates with me.

    Liked by 1 person

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