A Black Out Poem/Found Poetry Revision on “Safety Pins and Baby Needles”

Who remembers that poem I wrote a couple weeks ago, “Safety Pins and Baby Needles?”  The one that was slightly more intense than the one about oranges and strangers?

If you don’t remember it, this is what I’m talking about:

 

Safety Pins and Baby Needles

say what you want to, and be sure to say it to my face
always take the long way, don’t you? the way around the bushes
frosted with snow in the middle of a june that only gets hotter.
easier said than done is a phrase that will only work if you loosen you
tongue for once. i’m on pins and needles waiting for
your words, but they’re covered in bubble wrap

pretend not to notice how i break your
introverted bubbles, burst them, to see inside the bush you beat around in
neglect. it might speak more if you set it on fire. but bushes weren’t meant to
smoke in your neglect—bubble wrapped bushes sit on your safety pins

and i take the needles. to pop. your bubble.
neglect my feelings now. i’m on the inside, or rather a
damsel like you is on the outside now.

beauty in a wordless fool like you. fragile. defenseless.
a baby needs baby needles to get his vaccines—protection from the big
bad world iced with june frost and vocabulary-polio. a real needle
yearns for virgin skin like yours, an untapped heart of gold

neglected by wordless abandon. you wasted your vocabulary on
extemporaneous 4 & 5-point scrabble words. “uh.” “um.”
easy does it, baby. you big baby. cry baby. you need something to
drug you through this. drag you. take a drag. try something. new. a real needle. fresh. real.
loosen your lips and feel the neglect of words forgotten through lack of use.
ease is missing. you are missing. i’m sorry i burst your bubble wrapped world.
safety pins weren’t enough to hold it together anyway.

 

Anyways, I bring up the poem, because I did something to it.  I attempted blackout poetry on it! 🙂

I’ve done black out before, but never on something that I had written myself, nor on the computer.  And let me just say–it is surprisingly hard to let go of the words you wrote yourself, rather than words that came from someone else.

(A lot of words have to be cut loose for this style.)

So … here’s the marked version.

Pic of Safety Needles

🙂

This might not have been the best poem to do this with, but eh.  I’m sure it’s fine.  If you guys like this style, I might do more in the future.

(I mean, I’ll be doing more regardless.  It’s simply a matter of sharing it with you guys, but only if you want to read it.)

🙂 Thanks for reading!!!  Have a lovely rest of your day!

 

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